Justice, in its most tragicomic version, passes sentence
It seems that in Western Mexico the Day of the Dead was taken too seriously. A federal judge, in an unusual burst of activity, has decided that maybe, just maybe, the alleged criminal mastermind behind the murder of a popular councilor and seven of his personal guards should be prosecuted. Because what could go wrong when those who are supposed to protect you are the first to look the other way? They will all enjoy a paid vacation in a detention center while the investigations, which move at the speed of an overweight snail, continue.
The Michoacán Prosecutor’s Office – a state as famous for its avocados as for its organized crime – pompously reported that, after a marathon hearing, the magistrate decided to link to the trial a subject identified as Jorge Armando “N”, alias “El Licensed“. A nickname that, without a doubt, inspires absolute confidence in the national educational system. This gentleman, according to the authorities, was not dedicated to tax advice, but rather to planning homicides. A job specialization, without a doubt.
The bodyguards, or the art of creative omission
But the jewel in the crown in this judicial farce are the seven members of the municipal police who were part of the security device of mayor Carlos Manzo. His contribution to the crime was as subtle as it was effective: a murder qualified by omission. Or, in Christian terms, the ability to not be there when they are needed most, just when a 17-year-old teenager, Víctor Manuel Ubaldo Vidales, decided to turn the main square of Uruapan into his personal stage. To give it a touch of Shakespearean drama, the young shooter was shot down right there by one of the bodyguards. Would it be the same one who was later accused? The irony is so thick you could cut it with a knife.
While these seven cheap bodyguards faced the music, an eighth fellow soldier had the brilliant idea of becoming a fugitive from justice. Governor Alfredo Ramírez Bedolla announced it with the naturalness of someone who informs that it will rain in the afternoon. The judge, in a gesture of optimistic realism, gave a period of three months for complementary investigations. Because solving such a complex and high-profile crime obviously requires less time than waiting for an Amazon package to be delivered.
The crocodile tears of “The Bachelor”
In today’s episode of “The Innocent Criminal“, Mr. Jorge Armando “N” vehemently denied any participation in the assassination. Not content with that, he reported being a victim of torture after his arrest. A defense strategy so original and novel that had never been seen before in the history of the Mexican penal system. The judge, in a display of equanimity, also ordered an investigation into these claims. Just in case.
The authorities, meanwhile, paint “The Bachelor” as a distinguished member of a local criminal cell, with friendly ties to the always charming Jalisco Nueva Generación Cartel (CJNG). His arrest, they tell us, was possible after analyzing phone calls, messages and videos. Wow, almost as if technology was useful for something. In this beautiful criminal puzzle, a young man named Fernando Josué also appeared, who accompanied the shooter and was found dead on November 10 along with another individual, Ramiro “N”. Because in these stories, uncomfortable witnesses have an annoying tendency to become… definitely silent.
In Michoacán, that blessed land that gives us avocado for guacamole and lemon for beer, a true zoo of criminal groups operates: the CJNG, the Familia Michoacana, Los Viagras, The Knights Templar (how beautiful, a medieval order) and Los Blancos de Troy. With so much criminal activity on offer, it is a miracle that there is time left to reap the rewards.
The most hilarious thing about this melodrama is that the local authorities have not yet been able to determine the motive of the crime. A 40-year-old mayor is murdered in broad daylight, at a massive festival, and no one knows why. Manzo‘s death sparked protests, because people, although it may be difficult to believe, are upset that their public representatives are killed. In a predictable twist, President Claudia Sheinbaum announced the “Michoacán Plan for Peace and Justice,” which includes the deployment of more than 10,000 federal agents. Because if something has proven to be effective in the fight against organized crime in recent years, it is, without a doubt, sending more police.
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