Because nothing sweetens a tour more than promising a chocolate factory
In a move that will surely solve all the problems of the Mexican countryside, or at least the cravings for sweets, President Claudia Sheinbaum Pardo has announced with great fanfare the construction of a federal chocolate factory in Tabasco. Yes, you read that right: the government will get into the chocolate business with its new crown jewel, “Wellness Chocolate”.
Because when you think about a country’s priorities, obviously the first thing that comes to mind is… chocolate. Infrastructure? Security? Health? No thanks, we prefer the sweet route to development.
Tabasco cocoa: so good that it needs a government rescue
During her visit to the Tabasco capital, our federal president revealed a revolutionary discovery: the best cocoa in the world is produced precisely in Tabasco. What a coincidence that this botanical discovery occurs just when a new state company needs to be justified.
“Next year, because now we manufacture the chocolate, but next year we are going to build here, in Tabasco: the chocolate factory, so that the Wellness Chocolate can be produced right here,” declared Sheinbaum with the conviction of someone who has just solved the equation of world peace through chocolate bars.
Of course, this ambitious project does not come alone. It will join the prestigious “Food for Wellness” line, that collection of products that sound like they were invented by a marketing committee that only had five minutes. Next to the “Well-being Chocolate” we will find the “Well-being Milk”, the “Well-being Honey” and the “Well-being Coffee”. How creative, right? Surely the next product will be “Wellbeing Water” or perhaps “Premium Wellbeing Air”.
These bureaucratic delights will be sold in the more than 26 thousand Wellness Stores that exist throughout the country. Imagine: from Tijuana to Cancún, Mexicans will be able to access chocolate produced by the same government that brings us permits, paperwork and… well, chocolate apparently.
The cocoa economy, now with a taste of well-being
The logic is impeccable, as they explain to us: “You buy the cocoa, it becomes Wellness Chocolate and it is sold in all the Wellness Stores throughout the country.” That’s how simple modern economics is. There is no way for it to fail.
And so, the president tells us, “there in Chihuahua they buy chocolate, the best chocolate in the world, produced by the hands of the person who produces the cocoa: by the hands of Tabasco.” How beautiful. You can almost taste the irony of the federal government becoming a commercial intermediary for a product that producers could sell directly.
The declared objective is noble, yes: “to grow so that all small cocoa producers in the state can have enough profits to live well.” Because apparently the solution to low prices is not to improve marketing channels or add value through independent cooperatives, but for the government to set up its own factory and become the sole buyer and seller.
The justification is as delicious as the chocolate itself: “because many times cocoa is sold very cheap and is not enough to generate ‘well-being’.” Of course, because we all know that the best way to increase the value of a product is by adding layers of state bureaucracy.
And so, with each tablet of “Wellness Chocolate“, we will be contributing to the great word of the Fourth Transformation. Because in this new Mexico, well-being is not a goal, but a flavor of chocolate that you can buy at your favorite government store.
Will this be the economic model of the future? A government that produces everything from chocolate to hope? Time will tell. Meanwhile, Tabasco’s cocoa producers will wait to see if this sweet promise doesn’t melt like chocolate in the sun.
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