The epic (and bureaucratic) crusade of home visits
Ah, International Nursing Day. That time of year when politicians remember that there are people who do the real work in the healthcare system. President Claudia Sheinbaum, in a burst of statistical enthusiasm, announced with great fanfare that her Salud Casa por Casa program has already invaded—sorry, visited—8.5 million older adults and people with disabilities. How did they achieve it? Simple: with the delicacy of an elephant in a china shop and the rhythm of a sleepy snail. Half an hour at home, sometimes an hour, because of course, who could resist a government survey between tea and memories of youth?
And not content with collecting data as if they were Pokémon (“Gotta catch ‘em all!”), healthcare personnel now also play at being doctors, psychologists and prescription deliverers. The Wellness Pharmacies—which sound as idyllic as a Heidi village—promise to supply medications, although we don’t yet know if they will include a bureaucracy machine for additional paperwork. Of course, if Grandpa has a mental problem, he’ll be referred to a specialist… as long as the health center’s phone isn’t busy with calls from 8.5 million other people.
The numbers that (maybe) matter
The Secretary of Health, David Kershenobich (a name that seems taken from a 19th century medical treatise), boasted the hiring of 20 thousand nurses for this mission. 20 thousand? It sounds like an army, but in reality it is as if each one had to visit 425 houses. Cheer up, syringe soldiers! Meanwhile, the Secretary of Welfare, Ariadna Montiel, delighted us with a classification of beneficiaries that seems taken from a role-playing game: from the “healthy and happy” (35%) to the “total dependents” (1.4%). Prize for the largest group? A pat on the back and the promise that someone, at some point, will follow up.
And the award ceremony could not be missed, because what would a government be without its annual dose of medals and photos for the archive? The award-winning nurses—Juana, Yolanda and Sandra—received their diplomas to applause, while the heads of the institutions competed for who had the most staff under their command. The IMSS: 121 thousand nurses. The ISSSTE: 32 thousand. And the prize for the cheesiest speech? For the director of the IMSS Bienestar, who declared that his nurses are “the backbone and the heart” of the institution. How beautiful. I hope they are also paid as if they were vital organs.
The final goal? Survey 13.7 million people. For now they are at 62.3%. That is, if they keep up the pace, by the time they finish, some of those older adults will have already achieved immortality… or at least we hope so.
Did you like this gem of public administration? Share it on networks and join the debate: medical visit or disguised census? And if you want more doses of reality with a touch of sarcasm, explore our content!




