An ordinary day in Hidalgo’s hell kitchen
It seems that in the picturesque town of Hueyotlipa, Acatlán, someone decided that tourism and crafts were too boring industries. Instead, they chose to set up what kindly federal and state forces had to dismantle with four searches: a charming drug laboratory. Because nothing says “local development” like high-pressure boilers and tons of substances that could dissolve a car in seconds.
The operation, a diligence so simultaneous that it must have even looked good in the report, was carried out in exemplary coordination between the Army, the National Guard and the Attorney General’s Office. Imagine the logistics: coordinating schedules, uniforms, and who brings the coffees, all to break into a camp that, clearly, was not producing artisanal jam.
The menu of the day: chemicals and doses to depopulate a town
The clandestine laboratory was, presumably, the ideal place to produce and distribute synthetic drugs. The evidence? Just the typical infrastructure that you would find in any home: nine high-pressure condenser tube boilers, 47 LP gas tanks (in case the winter gets bad), seven water pumps, three electric power plants and two industrial thermometers. For dessert, they seized seven gas burners and 187 empty drums with capacity for 200 and 500 liters. Because in the meth business, sustainability and recycling are key, apparently.
But wait, there’s more. The inventory included 1,327 kilos of caustic soda (ideal for unclogging pipes… and other things), 312 kilos of tartaric acid, 20 kilos of sodium hydroxide and 4,200 liters of acid for hemodialysis. Because when you think of a crystal laboratory, obviously the first thing that comes to mind is dialysis. Were they producing drugs or opening an unauthorized branch of a hospital? The world may never know.
And the mysterious touch could not be missed: 25 drums with unknown liquid substances and 16 jugs with unidentified liquids. Maybe they were samples for the local elementary school science fair, but something tells me not. The product in process amounted to five thousand liters, and the finished product was 16 kilos of glass, which is equivalent to the modest amount of 52,800 doses. A figure so large that it even hurts to try to count it. That is not an operation, it is the closure of a nightmare factory.
The camp: Narca glamping with everything included
So that the alleged perpetrators would not get bored between drums, the property included a luxury camp. Eleven tents, two trucks, and of course, the basic accessories for any hiker: two long weapons, two magazines, 40 useful .223 caliber cartridges, two ballistic vests with four plates and two communication radios. In case the Zoom calls failed in the middle of the forest.
And in the midst of this paradise of precariousness and danger, they managed to arrest a subject identified with the initials G.S.P. One. Only one. Were the others on weekly rest? Or did they have teleworking from another mountain range? Rhetorical questions abound, but answers, as always, are scarce.
As is customary in these national dramas, all weapons, vehicles, drugs and utensils were placed at the disposal of the competent authorities, who very diligently opened the corresponding investigation file. A folder that will undoubtedly be as thick as the list of seized materials.
In short, another day, another drug laboratory dismantled in deep Mexico. Where some see crisis, others see entrepreneurship. Where some see danger, others see… well, more danger. But with a touch of irony, because life is too absurd to be taken seriously.
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