When Twitter is silent, the internet invents
Well, people. In today’s hyperconnected world, where we know what our favorite influencer had for lunch in real time, for a public figure like Donald Trump to disappear from the map for… three whole days! It’s basically the equivalent of a cosmic disappearance. And, oh boy, the internet did not disappoint. The absence of the former president from the public sphere was the perfect fuel for the wildest theories to flourish in every corner of social networks. Because, let’s be honest, in the age of overinformation, silence is more suspicious than a like on a tweet from 2012.
Not even a few photos of him on his golf course, his personal sanctuary, were enough to calm the waters. The rumors, fueled by the enthusiasm of his political opponents, grew so much that it seemed like the plot of a bad season of House of Cards mixed with The Walking Dead. Speculation was so hot that we even wondered if we should light the candles on our profiles.
The comeback and the million dollar question
Finally, at his first public event in what seemed like an eternity (or a week, which is the same thing on the internet), Trump decided to face the music. And Peter Doocy of Fox News, with the delicacy of an elephant in a china shop, dropped the bomb: “How did you find out over the weekend that he had died?” The question was so direct that even the senators and officials next to him made that uncomfortable change of position that we all do when an uncle at the family dinner makes an inappropriate comment.
The response of the 79-year-old president was a blunt “No”, followed by that smile that we all make when we pretend not to have seen the meme that made us trend. He assured that he was not aware that people thought he had passed away, but he had noticed that there were concerns about his health. Of course, because it is easier to find out about gossip about your own state than about your own… death. Logical.
He, being him, classified all the speculation as “fake news” and declared that he was “very active over the weekend.” Whatever that means when your idea of activity is posting “long truths” on your own social media platform, Truth Social. Because nothing screams “I’m more alive than ever!” how to write epic posts in an app that competes for attention with Myspace.
Bruises, aspirin and eternal youth
To be fair, the concern didn’t come out of nowhere. In recent days, Trump has been seen bruising his hand and some swelling on his ankles. The White House came out explaining that the former president was diagnosed with chronic venous insufficiency, a common condition in older adults where the veins in the legs do not do their job well in carrying blood back to the heart.
But the star explanation came from his press secretary, Karoline Leavitt: the bruises are from “frequent shaking hands and the use of aspirin.” Yes, you read that right. Apparently, handshaking is now an extreme contact sport and aspirin is the new elixir of life that, ironically, leaves you with bruises. The logic is as impeccable as its electoral results.
Trump, in his unique style, stated in one of his “truths” in Truth Social that “I have never felt better in my entire life.” A phrase that, come on, we’ve all used after a questionable weekend, but it sounds particularly epic coming from someone who in 2015 published a letter from his doctor saying he would be “the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.” Because if there is one thing we know, it is that transparency in health issues has never been their strong suit, unless recounting extraordinary physical feats counts as transparency.
In the end, this entire media circus leaves us several lessons: that the internet can create drama out of nothing faster than you can say “cancel culture”, that the health of a former president is a topic of public interest and memes alike, and that, sometimes, a simple aspirin and a handshake can be the most random explanation for bruises that have caused rivers of digital ink to flow.
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