Because nothing says “accessible education” like a tangle of requirements
Attention, parents! If your child is about to suffer (ahem, enjoy) public high school, the government in its infinite generosity gives them money. But don’t get too excited, because like any government gift, it comes with more conditions than a cell phone contract.
The “Uniforms and School Supplies” program – a name as creative as a math notebook – promises financial support. Of course, only for those who jumped through the bureaucratic hoops before June 30. Didn’t they? Well, they can always wait for next school year, when they will surely change the rules again.
The magic card (which requires 3 apps and a sacrifice to Tláloc)
The jewel in the crown is a new card that works as an electronic voucher. But of course, it’s not as simple as using it in the store. Oh no. First they must link it with the Get More app, because what better than teaching children about patience and technological frustration from an early age.
Deliveries will be from August 13 to 16, because nothing organizes the return to school better than distributing aid when the school year has already started. The exact instructions will be… somewhere between the Trust’s social networks and the contact registered in Llave CDMX. Fun treasure hunt game included!
Will the previous card no longer work? Of course not. The government loves to make citizens collect plastics like they were Pokémon cards. This new one is exclusive for uniforms and supplies, because separating the benefits into different cards is clearly more efficient than… not doing so.
Frequently asked questions (that no one dares to ask out loud)
- Card blocked? Don’t worry, you will receive another one. Overall, who doesn’t like accumulating useless plastic in their wallet?
- Previous balance? Will be transferred automatically (read: “eventually, if the stars align”).
- Didn’t you register on time? Play again next year. Better luck in the next round of “Survivor: Government Procedures.”
In short: the government offers genuine help… wrapped in so much paperwork that sometimes you doubt whether the prize is worth the contest. But hey, at least the kids will learn valuable lessons about Mexican bureaucracy!
Did you like this gem of public administration? Share this article with other parents who need a good laugh (or cry) at the educational reality. And if you want more snarky analysis of government “aid,” explore our related content. We promise more acid humor and zero bureaucracy… at least on our website.
