The great strategy: get up early to win (or to make others give up)
Ah, the judicial elections. That magical moment in which democracy is reduced to an obstacle course where, apparently, whoever gets up early not only grabs the Morena candidate, but scares away the competition. Because, according to the “experts”, the voters of the party in power have a sacred mission: to set up at the polls before the sun rises, as if they were going to hand out free iPhones instead of electoral ballots.
The art of the line as a political weapon
According to Luis Carlos Ugalde, former president of the IFE (and probably an expert in the psychology of queues), an independent voter, upon seeing a long line, thinks: “nah, I’d better go have breakfast.” Meanwhile, the mobilized militant endures stoically, as if he were at a political Black Friday. Machiavellian strategy or simple citizen laziness? The world will never know.
And here comes the best: there will only be 84 thousand polling stations, half as many as in previous elections. Because, of course, why make voting easier if we can turn it into a survival game? Voting centers will not be civic spaces, but bottlenecks designed to test citizens’ patience. Could it be that the slower the process, the more legitimate the result? Someone should ask the geniuses who came up with this plan.
Jaime Rivera, electoral advisor, tries to calm us down by saying that early voting does not define the result. What a relief! So, all this choreography of early mornings and kilometer-long lines is just for… civic exercise? How nice. Meanwhile, election officials, in a burst of unprecedented efficiency, will hand out ballots and ink fingers at the same time, as if they were jugglers of democracy. The next step? Let voters sign, vote and juggle three balls. Everything is for fluidity.
And the non-mobilized citizens? Oh, those can stay at home watching memes. After all, if they don’t have the physical stamina to face a line at 6 a.m., do they really deserve to participate in democracy? (Note: this is sarcasm, in case someone from the INE is reading).
So now you know: if you want your vote to count, get up early, bring coffee and get ready for an epic day. Or, if you’d rather avoid the drama, you can always wait for the results to go up on Twitter. Overall, why suffer?
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