Attention, beneficiaries of the public treasury! Today it’s time to cut the piñata
It seems that the Government of Mexico, in its infinite generosity (and with an eye on popularity), has decided that today is a great day to distribute the Welfare Pension. Yes, that subsidy that arrives religiously every two months to cheer the hearts and, incidentally, the bank accounts of millions. Because nothing says “well-being” like an extra “wool” in times where the cost of living seems to play pinball with our salaries.
This whole circus of social programs, an idea that flourished in the mental garden of former president Andrés Manuel López Obrador, continues its course with the precision of a Swiss watch… well, perhaps with the precision of a fairground wristwatch, but it continues. And today, September 12, the official calendar has spoken.
The alphabet of fortune: Today it’s M’s turn
Is their last name Martínez, Méndez or maybe Maldonado? Congratulations! They have won the bureaucratic lottery. According to the modern oracle, also known as the Official Calendar of the Welfare Secretariat, surnames that begin with the letter M are the lucky ones of the day. They can rush to collect their precious loot. Of course, with a crossroads worthy of a chivalric novel: go to a bank, where they will charge a commission for the privilege of giving them their own money, or look for a Wellness Module, where they can receive it without that small “tax on desperation.” A fascinating choice, right?
But wait, there’s more! It’s not just the basic pension. For Senior Adults aged 65 or older, the fifth payment of the cycle (which covers September and October) amounts to the astronomical figure of 6,200 pesos. An amount that, without a doubt, solves all of life’s problems, or at least enough for a few weeks of food and perhaps a treat. What a thrill!
The state charity menu: Something for (almost) everyone
They thought the party was only for grandparents, right? Mistake! The welfare state is like an all-you-can-eat buffet. Also today, the beneficiaries of the Pension for People with Disabilities (3,200 pesos), the mothers of the Children of Working Mothers Program (with amounts of 1,650 or 3,720 pesos, because equity is sometimes capricious) and the ladies of the Women’s Wellbeing program (3,000) receive their juicy deposit. pesos). It’s something, although one wonders if these amounts were calculated with a roulette wheel or with a complex socioeconomic algorithm.
And for those who are already planning to spend their money on Monday the 16th, we have sublime news: the government also needs a vacation. Yes, September 16, the day we celebrate our independence, is officially a non-working day. So there will be no dispersion of funds. Because apparently, even the machine that prints and distributes hope needs to rest to toast the country. Payments will resume the next day, because the bureaucracy, although slow, is relentless.
In short: if your last name begins with M, today is your lucky day in this weekly subsidy drawing. Enjoy that extra “wool”, compare bank fees and remember that independence also means a day off… even to receive money from the government.
Did you find this sarcastic tour of social programs entertaining?Share it on your social networks and test your contacts’ sense of humor! Or, explore more related content to discover other analyzes that are as ironic as they are informative.




