Hypnotist John Milton suffers theft of a van in Culiacán
The magic act that no one wanted to see
Imagine this: you are driving calmly down the road, probably listening to a podcast or thinking about what to order for dinner, and out of nowhere, life decides that today it is time to live an episode of Narcos: México but without the script and, most importantly, without the actors. This was exactly what happened to hypnotist John Milton, who suddenly found himself in the worst show of his life, one where the final trick was to make his truck disappear.
It turns out that yesterday afternoon, while good John was traveling with his wife and a friend on the Culiacán-Eldorado highway, in Sinaloa, some armed individuals, who clearly had not received the memo about peace and love, decided that they liked that vehicle better. And so, unceremoniously, they stripped him of his truck in an act that we could classify as “forced expropriation” with a touch of absurd terror.
Not to be dramatic, but at what point does a quiet walk become a high-risk scene? Milton, who is usually on the other side of the show—hypnotizing people into thinking he’s a chicken or something—suddenly was the star of a reality show that no one in their right mind would want to star in.
“Blessed God, we are alive”: the testimony
In a phone call that sounds more like an emotional release than a formal statement, Milton released what is probably the most real (and viral) phrase of the year: “It was a traumatic event for all of us who were in the vehicle, blessed God we are alive, which is the important thing, and we are talking about the story”. In other words, the guy has just lived through an experience that leaves you trembling even to the eyelashes, and yet he has the fortitude to be grateful for the basic thing: continuing to breathe. Isn’t that something to take your hat off to? Or rather, to never wear it in Sinaloa if it is not strictly necessary.
And, let’s be honest, in a country where negative news sometimes seems to outweigh the positive, hearing someone say “at least we’re alive” with a tone somewhere between resigned and grateful is a reminder that the number one priority is always to get out of the drama in one piece. The material, even if it hurts, is recovered. Peace of mind after a scare like that… that takes a little longer.
But let’s be clear: since when do armed civilians intercept cars as if they were real versions of GTA? The modus operandi is so brazen that it makes one wonder if there is some kind of “deal of the day” in organized crime. Could it be that Milton’s truck had an extra hypnosis that made it irresistible? Or it was just bad luck in the “whose turn today” draw.
The truth is that these types of events not only leave a direct victim, but also generate a domino effect of distrust in road safety. Because if they can do this to a professional hypnotist—someone who literally controls minds—what chance do we mere mortals have who only know how to use the horn when another driver cuts us off?
At the end of the day, what remains is an anecdote that Milton will probably tell in his shows with acid humor, because what else can you do but laugh to avoid crying? But there also remains the uncomfortable question: Are we normalizing violence to the point where an armed robbery feels like “just another news story”?
And you, have you had a similar experience or do you know someone who has gone through something like this? The bottom line is that it is time to talk about these issues without filters, because security should be a right, not a luxury. Share this story to raise awareness and check out our special on safety on Mexican roads. Because being informed is the first step to being prepared.
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