Sheinbaum announces the arrest with the solemnity of a soap opera spoiler
Oh, the irony. Carlos Alberto Treviño Medina, the former director of Pemex who probably only collected envelopes with “congratulations for your honesty”, was detained in the United States. The crime? Corruption, because what else would a former oil official do in his free time, gardening?
Deportation: when karma travels in economy class
In a press conference that sounded more like an episode of “Catch the Fugitive”, Claudia Sheinbaum dropped the bomb: Treviño Medina will be deported to Mexico. Because nothing says “efficient justice” like letting another country do the dirty work. Of course, the president was quick to clarify that he will be judged here… because in Mexico we know how to deal with corruption with the forcefulness of cotton candy.
“It’s good,” Sheinbaum said of the arrest, with the enthusiasm of someone who finds a counterfeit bill in their wallet. And he added: “We want them to do more.” Translation: “Please, FBI, keep cleaning our house while we look for the broom.”.
The funniest thing? Treviño Medina was on the list of alerts, those that Mexico broadcasts as if they were Netflix promotions. “Limited offer! Corrupts with a valid passport, take advantage before Interpol notices you!”.
And now what? Well, the former director will face charges in a country where, statistically, a politician is more likely to appear in a scandal than in the photo of the year. Of course, with the consolation that, at least, he was not extradited to a reality show.
Moral: If you’re going to be corrupt, at least be smart enough not to vacation where Uncle Sam has your tab. Or better yet, don’t be (what a radical concept).
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