Because nothing says “freedom” like a fine for making a mistake
In a twist that no one asked for but that will undoubtedly delight lovers of the strictest protocol, the parliamentary group of the Institutional Revolutionary Party (PRI) has decided that Mexico’s real problems can wait. His new crusade: punish with the weight of the law those officials and public servants who have the audacity to commit a human error during the emotional and sometimes drunken night of September 15. Because, let’s face it, what is more urgent? Resolve insecurity or ensure that a mayor in Sonora does not add a spicy touch to the cry?
The brilliant mind behind this initiative is the PRI federal representative, Abigail Arredondo, who has proposed imposing fines of up to 103 thousand pesos on vowel offenders. His argument, as solid as a flan in an earthquake, is that this will prevent the Cry of Independence ceremony from becoming a “national and international mockery.” Of course, because when foreigners think of Mexico, surely the first thing that comes to mind is not the beaches or the gastronomy, but the mayor of Huatabampo shouting “Long live the Erotic Town.” The national shame is palpable.
The decalogue of the good shouter (or how to avoid civic bankruptcy)
“We are considering as infraction of the law“, declared the deputy with a seriousness that would well deserve a monument, “whoever breaks it or alters it or modifies any civic act.” The sanction can range from a simple reprimand (a little letter saying “hey, don’t do it again”) to the aforementioned maximum fine, which would leave more than one municipal official crying about their insurance contract. The authority designated for this crucial task of patriotic surveillance would be the Ministry of the Interior, which surely has nothing more important to do, like, I don’t know, manage the country’s internal politics.
To illustrate the magnitude of this national crisis, the legislator accompanied her proposal with a video compilation of the most glorious mistakes committed by public servants in recent years. There we found gems like that of the mayor of Escárcega, Campeche, Juan Carlos Hernández Rath, who enthusiastically shouted “Long live Josefa Ortiz de Pinedo!”, merging two heroes into one as if it were a historical Pokémon. Evelio Vara, mayor of Zaragoza, Coahuila, was not far behind with his “Viva Josefa María Morelos y Pavón!”, creating a 19th century transgender heroine who undoubtedly deserves her own Netflix series. But the biggest prize goes to Jesús Flores Mendoza, mayor of Huatabampo, Sonora, whose “Long live the Erotic People of Mexico!” makes us seriously wonder what exactly he was drinking before going up to the balcony.
Deputy Arredondo Ramos explained, with the most serious face she could put on, that those who make a mistake when mentioning a national hero are offending Mexico and all Mexicans. Of course, the real offense for an ordinary citizen is corruption or impunity, but hey, priorities. An error in a list of names on a night out is clearly public enemy number one.
The essence of its initiative is to reform article 51 of the Law on the National Shield, Flag and Anthem to include a minimum protocol and the basic phrases that must be recited in the civic act. Basically, he wants to turn screaming into illuminated karaoke, eliminating any hint of spontaneity or, God forbid, fun. One imagines the officials spending the night before going over the names with flashcards, breaking out in a cold sweat at the possibility of confusing Guerrero with Guadalupe Victoria and ending up selling the car to pay the fine. It is a measure as necessary as a submarine with sliding doors, but it will undoubtedly demonstrate to the world the iron commitment of the Mexican political class to the things that really matter: ceremonial semantics in its purest form.
Do you share this vision of a Mexico where protocol errors are punished more than poor public management? Spread this gem of legislation on your social networks and let’s make the discussion go viral. If you’re intrigued by more proposals that solve problems you didn’t know existed, explore our related content on national priorities.
