The epic battle against everyday evils (or how to sell bureaucracy with glamour)
Ah, San Pedro Tlaquepaque, that corner of Mexico where tequila flows more than the health budget. There, Claudia Sheinbaum, our favorite president, arrived to lead an assembly that promises to revolutionize medicine… or at least fill out forms in style. The “Salud Casa por Casa” program—which sounds more like an insurance salesman than a public policy—aims to turn 700 nurses and doctors into the Avengers of grandparents, because what’s better than a government that enters your home without asking permission?
“You are the government in the home of an elderly person,” Sheinbaum declared with the solemnity of someone announcing the discovery of the wheel. What a revelation! Did we think they were pizza delivery people? The president, in a burst of magical realism, assured that these facilitators are “the closest thing” to the elderly. More than your grandchildren, your pets or even your television. Clear priorities.
Lightning tour (or how to mark territory like a cat in heat)
The president is not wasting time: in eight months she has already visited the 32 federal entities twice. Reason? Avoid the “divorce between people and government”. Of course, because nothing unites more than a quick selfie between speeches. Meanwhile, the program promises monthly visits to prevent illness, creating digital records (did anyone warn you that many seniors still use rotary phones?), and magic prescriptions for Wellness Pharmacies—where, ironically, shortages are the only thing guaranteed.
And if that were not enough, from June 2 there will be a medical call center. Because nothing says “personalized attention” like an 800 number where, after 40 minutes of waiting, a stressed practitioner answers you. 20 thousand professionals will receive guidance via call or video call, because why go to the doctor if you can see it pixelated on your tablet?
Sheinbaum, in a fit of humility, described the program as “the most ambitious in the world.” It sounds great, until you remember that South Korea monitors its elderly with robots and Denmark has decently paid nurses. But details, right?
Jalisco: the Silicon Valley of semiconductors (or so they want to believe)
Among so much health pomp, the president announced that Jalisco will become the hub for semiconductors. The plan? Attract private investments while the IMSS continues using typewriters. Governor Pablo Lemus, in yes-man mode, applauded the coordination between governments. “Health is the most important thing,” he said, omitting that his state spends more on festivals than on hospitals.
In the end, they signed an agreement between Bienestar and IMSS, because in Mexico nothing advances without a formal act and a Zoé Robledo smiling for the photo. Results? We will see them “in one or two years”, that is, just for the next electoral campaign. Convenient.
Are you intrigued by how this novel between bureaucracy and good intentions will end? Share this gem of fantastic realism and discover more government “achievements” on our networks. #SaludOMarketing #GrandparentsInAvengerMode
