When your plastic surgeon turns out to be your aunt’s cousin who “knows a lot about YouTube”
Ah, cosmetic surgeries. That modern pastime where you trust your life to a stranger with a scalpel because he promises to transform you into an “HD” version of yourself. Juan José Ruiz Treviño, a plastic surgeon (the real kind, not the ones who print their diploma at the neighborhood printing press), came out to remind us that, surprise, verifying credentials could prevent you from ending up as a tragic newspaper headline.
The good doctor, tired of every surgical death becoming an episode of CSI: Clandestine Clinic, demands transparency. Because nothing is more reassuring than knowing that a general practitioner operated on you in the basement of a house with a “VIP SPA” sign. Federal crime, he calls it. We call it “playing Russian roulette with anesthesia.”
The pyramid of aesthetic survival (or how not to end up in a body bag)
According to the specialist (attention, keyword here), there is a “pyramid” to avoid dying trying to look like an Instagram filter:
- Doctor’s credentials: He is not an “expert” because he watched all the episodes of Grey’s Anatomy.
- Certification of the place: If the operating room smells like arepas and the equipment is from the era of Hippocrates, run away.
- Patient honesty: Lying about your cocaine addiction before anesthesia is worse than saying “yes, I like it” when they ask if you have allergies.
“Empower patients,” says the doctor. Translation: stop believing that any guy in a scrubs and stethoscope (purchased on Amazon) is a surgeon. Because, pay attention to the fact: plastic surgery is as safe as flying on an airplane. Of course, if we ignore that some “pilots” are actually YouTubers doing a challenge.
And here comes the comforting fact: fatalities in the operating room are less than 0.002%. Which is statistically irrelevant… until you’re the one in the 0.002%. As the meme would say: “Everything’s fine until it’s not.”.
Moral? If your “surgeon” charges you cash and his office is between a grocery store and a taco place, reconsider. Your new butt is not worth an obituary.
Share this gem of medical wisdom! Because in a world where anyone with a scalpel and audacity believes themselves to be a specialist, information is the best preventive lifting. Do you want more content that saves you from questionable decisions? Explore our other guides to avoid dying trying.
