The great electoral circus: to vote or not to vote, that is the comedy
Ah, the sweet aroma of democracy in the air… or perhaps it is the smell of reheated coffee in the INE offices, where President Guadalupe Taddei seems to be fighting an epic battle against the most fearsome enemy of the polls: the sofa. Yes, that evil piece of furniture that hypnotizes citizens with series and furry blankets.
With the solemnity of someone announcing the discovery of the wheel, Taddei declared that there is “enthusiasm” to participate in the election of the Judiciary. The same enthusiasm that arouses a line at the bank? We don’t know, but she insists that this is historic, like in 1994 when Mexico debuted photo credentials. How nostalgic! Although some still miss voting with a fingerprint and indelible ink.
The democratic paradox: promoting what is obligatory
The truly hilarious thing is that the INE must campaign to promote something that, in theory, is a right and a civic duty. “It is always worrying that there are anti-voting campaigns,” Taddei said, as if someone had launched a “#NoVotesChallenge” on TikTok. Are there influencers promoting abstentionism with choreography?
Even more absurd: the results will not arrive on election night. Surprise! We will have to wait for the next day, as if it were a soap opera finale with a cliffhanger included. “We could come out with the first result on day 2,” he announced, making it clear that democracy is fast… like an overweight turtle.
Of course, we can follow the count online, “with a simple click“. Simple? Considering that in some areas the Internet arrives by carrier pigeon, perhaps “simple” is a relative term. But hey, at least there will be election observers! Those anonymous heroes who watch tables like hawks… or like bored spectators in an experimental play.
The icing on the cake? The operational justification: electoral packages from distant areas take time to arrive. Wow, no one thought about drones or teleportation? What a disappointment for science fiction fans!
So now you know: on June 1 you have a date with history… or with your pillow. The INE insists, some resist, and the results will come… when they come. Express democracy? More like democracy “just a moment, please.”.
Did you find this electoral satire amusing? Share it with those friends who swear that “their vote doesn’t count.” Do you want more analysis with acid humor? Explore our content on politics, where reality always surpasses fiction (and good sense).
Note: No sofas were hurt during the writing of this text. The rights to the furniture remain intact.
