Because nothing says “progress” like hanging from a cable
President Claudia Sheinbaum, in an act that mixes political grandiloquence with the fantasy of The Jetsons, announced Cablebús Line 4, which will connect Tlalpan and Coyoacán with 11.4 km of cables and dreams. Yes, friends, soon you will be able to travel through the air like Amazon packages, but with fewer guarantees of arrival on time.
“Since I was here in Tlalpan we imagined, we dreamed of being able to go through the air to the CU Metro,” Sheinbaum declared, conveniently omitting that this dream sounds more like an overheated campaign promise than a serious urban plan. But hey, in the Fourth Transformation the commitments are fulfilled… or at least that’s what they say as long as we don’t look at the pending issues of the three previous transformations.
Details that matter (or not)
The work, which aims to reduce the trip from two hours to 40 minutes, will include eight stations with names as picturesque as “Parque Morelos” and “Mayan Culture”, because nothing unites a city more than random historical references while hanging 20 meters from the ground. It is estimated that 65 thousand people will use this cable car daily, which begs the question: has anyone calculated how much time they will waste waiting for it to work?
But wait, there’s more! As a good political menu, the announcement included other mobility projects that we will probably see… one day. From the expansion of Metro Line 12 (famous for its impeccable operating history) to trains that will connect half the country, because clearly what Mexico needs is more transportation that depends on the same government that cannot maintain those that already exist.
The director of the Rail Transport Regulatory Agency, Andrés Lajous, boasted that existing lines have recorded 160 million trips, carefully avoiding mentioning how many of those trips ended with users praying to arrive alive. The new line promises to reduce times by 45% and will cost 7 pesos, which in inflationary economics means approximately “one and a half pieces of gum.”
To close with a flourish, the head of government Clara Brugada promised five more lines from Cablebús, because when you have a hammer, everything looks like nails… and when you have a moderately successful project, everything looks like a candidate for hanging on cables. It will include routes like Álvaro Obregón-Magdalena Contreras, because what better way to unite marginalized areas than by making those who do have cars look down on them.
Will it work? Who knows. But at least it will provide fodder for memes when early adopters are stranded halfway, philosophically contemplating the traffic they intended to avoid.
Are you excited by the idea of traveling by cable car over the chaos of the capital? Share this note and join the debate about whether this is sustainable mobility or just another involuntary tourist attraction. #CablebúsDeIlusiones
