The sweet and suspicious gift that almost killed the president
In a plot twist that would make the scriptwriters of the most dramatic soap operas pale, the Ecuadorian president Daniel Noboa has come out to tell the world that someone, with quite black humor, tried to sweeten him last week with a little poisoned gift. Because, what better detail for a president than a couple of jars of jam and a bottle of liquor loaded to the gills with chemicals? Quite a gesture of citizen “appreciation”, without a doubt.
The unusual episode, which takes us to the picturesque town of Babahoyo on October 17, was thwarted by his security team. These guardians, who evidently do not eat just any story, detected that this culinary gift was as natural as a unicorn in a board of directors. Three products, three opportunities for a fatal outcome, courtesy of a woman whose identity has added a touch of mystery to this tragic comedy.
The explanation that does not convince anyone
In an interview with CNN that had more suspense than a midnight thriller, Noboa dropped the bomb: they had found three different chemicals with such a very high concentration that their coexistence in simple edible products was, using his own eloquent words, “practically impossible.” Come on, it was more likely to win the lottery three times in a row than to find that explosive mixture by accident in your breakfast. The president, with a calm that deserves an Oscar, flatly ruled out that the incident was accidental. Someone tried it, period.
But every good plot needs its enigmatic character. Then Yolanda Peñafiel appears, the entrepreneur identified as the architect of these deadly delicatessen. Her defense, collected by the BN portal, was a classic of the genre: “I feel sad and worried at the same time” and the jewel in the crown, “My heart is not there to hurt anyone“. A statement that, inadvertently, makes us wonder: and what exactly is his heart for? To make jams with that “special” touch that sends you straight to the other neighborhood?
The formal complaint for attempted murder was filed on October 22, several days after the event, which leaves us thinking about the fascinating bureaucratic delays even when it comes to trying to eliminate the head of state. The Military House of the Presidency went to a tax office in Vinces, but with a best-selling omission: they did not identify the specific chemicals used. A minor detail, I suppose, when your life has been at stake.
Noboa, who has governed the country since November 2023 after winning the elections for a four-year term, can now add “poisoning attempt survivor” to his resume. An experience, surely, that does not come in any ruler’s manual. This incident adds to the already complex security landscape facing the nation, painting a picture where even the most innocent gifts can hide homicidal intent.
The final message? In Ecuadorian politics, it seems that you not only have to be careful of adversaries, but also of jam jars. Because in this reality show that is governance, someone decided that the president needed a trip to the afterlife, served on toast.
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