Your sarcastic new digital bodyguard
It seems that Alexa has finally decided to earn those pennies that Amazon invested in her, leaving behind her fascinating career as a bad joke teller and reminder programmer to become your personal watchdog. What a relief to know that while you are enjoying a vacation, this talking cylinder transforms into a digital bodyguard that, although it has no eyes (i.e. camera), can at least feel vibrations like a teenager on his first date.
The brilliant mind behind this device has discovered that it can use ultrasound sensors to detect movement, because clearly listening to our private conversations wasn’t enough fun anymore. Now you also need to know if we are moving too much. Do you want to transform your Echo into a security alert? Get ready for a digital bureaucratic adventure that would make any government bureaucrat cry.
The configuration ritual: more complicated than programming the microwave
According to the geniuses at Amazon, these devices only emit ultrasound after you activate a function that requires motion detection. How thoughtful they don’t want to bombard us with unnecessary sound waves while we watch Netflix. The alert signals come through the app, because obviously we need another notification that gets lost among the memes and work emails.
The first step on this exciting journey towards controlled paranoia is to activate motion detection. Open the Alexa app (the one you never use), go to “Devices” (where you probably have three versions of the same device without knowing which one is which), select the device you want to configure (good luck guessing), go to “Device Settings” (the place where all your hopes are going to die), and finally activate the ultrasonic motion detection box. Simple, right? Almost as intuitive as programming your grandparents to use TikTok.
But wait, there’s more! Now you need to establish a routine for the presence of people. Because Alexa isn’t satisfied with just knowing that you move – she needs to create habits around your movement patterns. According to Amazon’s official portal, these routines work “when an Echo device detects that someone is nearby.” What a profound revelation – almost like saying that water is wet.
When your home becomes smarter than you
Thanks to this technological marvel, Alexa can detect when people are nearby using various methods such as ultrasound, computer vision, or probably by guessing with a digital crystal ball. Imagine the scene: an intruder sneaks into your room and, instead of calling the police, Alexa automatically activates the news summary, plays music by Enya and turns on the lights in your Smart Home. Because nothing deters a thief like ambient lighting and financial news.
To create this masterpiece of home automation, you need to follow these steps that will make assembling IKEA furniture seem like child’s play: Open the Alexa app (again), go to “More” (the digital catchall), select “Routines” (because your life needs more structure), press “More” (there is never enough “more”), select “When” and then “Smart Home” (because your house is now smarter than you).
Then choose the device, activate the corresponding boxes for when people are detected or not (because loneliness also deserves automation), add actions and finally save. Just eight steps to achieve what a guard dog does instinctively.
Of course, not all Echo devices are modern enough for this ultrasound monitoring function. Only the most recent models have this privilege, because in the world of technology, planned obsolescence is the name of the game. Echo Shows with cameras can use computer vision, meaning they not only hear and sense your movement, but they can also see you at your best (or worst).
Ready to turn your home into a digital fortress controlled by a talking cylinder? Share this sarcastically helpful guide with everyone who wants Amazon to know exactly when they move in their own home. And if you liked discovering how your virtual assistant can spy on you in creative ways, explore more content about home automation and smart home technology on our social networks.
