The economic miracle that no one asked for (but everyone will applaud)
Ah, Claudia Sheinbaum, our favorite president to announce million-dollar investments with the same excitement as a child unwrapping a gift of socks. This time, the president—in an act that was surely not scheduled among her five minutes of daily rest—revealed that four pharmaceutical giants (Bayer, AstraZeneca, Boehringer Ingelheim and Laboratorios Carnot) will release 12 billion pesos in Mexico. The reason? According to her, the Plan México is going “with the wind in its sails“, a phrase that, translated from the politician into Spanish, means: “wait seated, but with hope.”
Michoacán, the new Silicon Valley of pills
Among so much numerical waste, Sheinbaum also snuck in the announcement of the First Wellbeing Pole for Development in Michoacán. Because, of course, what better place to drive pharmaceutical innovation than a state famous for its avocados and, well, avocados? The president assured that there are already committed investors (although she did not say if they were the same ones who promised to rescue Pemex in 2018). Of course, he swore that this “starts now”, because in the current government things are not postponed, they are announced twice!
Meanwhile, David Kershenobich, Secretary of Health, tried to convince us that this investment is not only for pharmaceutical companies to fill their coffers, but will generate 3 thousand “highly specialized” direct jobs (read: lucky people who will know how to pronounce “Boehringer Ingelheim” without getting stuck) and 20 thousand indirect ones (read: those who will distribute the boxes). According to him, this will position Mexico as a leader in the pharmaceutical industry. Do you dream of being a powerhouse in something other than tacos or narconovelas? Well here’s your chance!
And we could not miss Marcelo Ebrard, the Secretary of Economy, reminding us that this is “a high priority” because, surprise, health matters. His speech included the word “pandemic“—just in case someone forgot that there were three traumatic years—and promises of “health sovereignty.” That is, we will no longer depend on foreign vaccines… unless, ahem, there is a shortage of syringes again.
And the absurd detail? That no one mentioned how much of those 12 billion will go to advertising medications that cure everything from hair loss to heartbreak. Priorities, friends.
Did this news excite you or does it just give you chronic skepticism? Share this waste of government optimism on your networks and discover more “achievements” that promise to change the country (or at least the headlines).




