The “new” BREAD, same old taste
It seems that the National Action Party (PAN) decided that vintage is in fashion, and we are not talking about clothes, but about its star cast of characters. The national president of Morena, Luisa María Alcalde, could not help but take out her sarcastic scalpel to dissect the much publicized PAN relaunch. According to the leader, last Saturday’s event at the Frontón México was less a rebirth and more a meeting of the “unpresentables“. What a nice detail for the Mayor to share a guest list on her social networks, as if it were the menu of a restaurant of outdated politicians. Here you go, choose your favorite conservative!
In a display of what we could call “political archaeology“, the Morenista took the trouble to prepare brief profiles of the attendees. Because nothing says “we are renewed” like a list full of figures from the six-year terms of Vicente Fox, Felipe Calderón and Enrique Peña Nieto. Is it a relaunch or a convention for those nostalgic for the past? The line is thinner than it seems. The label for the event could well have been “progressivism costumes on skeletons of the old regime.”
The dream team of the “unpresentables”
And boy, the guest list was juicy. According to the Mayor’s report, the rebranding of PAN had the distinguished presence of Guadalupe Acosta Naranjo and Cecilia Soto from Somos México, along with the former PRI member Enrique de la Madrid. Because, clearly, when you want to project an image of radical change, the logical thing to do is fill the stage with faces that have been in politics since the internet was a novelty. It’s like trying to sell a 1990 car as “the future of mobility.” The effort is laudable, but reality is stubborn.
But the sarcasm didn’t stop there. The president of San Lázaro, Kenia López Rabadán, received a special mention for her expertise in, according to the Mayor, “hate speeches, classism and racism.” What a resume! Meanwhile, Germán Martínez was adorned with the trio of virtues: “traitor, detractor and liar.” One can almost imagine these titles on gold plaques on their desks. Could it be that in the PAN they confused “renewal” with “extreme recycling”?
The gallery of the “always unpresentables” also included Ricardo Anaya, Marko Cortés, Santiago Taboada, Xóchitl Gálvez and governors such as Libia Denisse García or Mauricio Kuri. Come on, if you closed your eyes and threw a stone, you would probably hit someone who has been singled out, criticized or satirized in Mexican politics in the last decade. It’s as if they had organized a “who’s who” party of the opposition, but only invited the most controversial version of each one.
The icing on the ironic cake came when the icing leader commented that the relaunch of Acción Nacional was led by “the same faces” and that, with their presence, “they put an end to the blue.” How poetic. Perhaps the true rebranding was not changing its ideology, but its corporate color. Blue? Too mainstream. Maybe they should try turquoise or indigo for the next reinvention.
The brunette diagnosis: makeup on deep wrinkles
From the official accounts of Morena, the party in power released another pearl of political wisdom: the PAN members believe that by “refreshing their image” they will change their terrible situation. Oh, innocents. It’s like thinking that a new coat of paint will fix the structural cracks in a building. The problem, according to the ruling party, lies deep down, in its “contradictions and lack of shame.” Come on, it’s not the packaging, it’s the product that fails. How many re-releases do we need before admitting that maybe, just maybe, the problem is one of content and not continent?
And the final punchline, that touch of masterful skepticism: “I hope they stop inventing imaginary fights and start building real proposals. Although honestly… we doubt it.” Translation: “We believe in both your ability to change and that unicorns will deliver our next Amazon order.” It is that perfect combination between civic desire and cinephile political realism. Because after all, what would Mexican politics be without its daily dose of absurd theater?
In the great circus of national politics, each party has its act. Morena presents himself as the sarcastic master of ceremonies, pointing his finger and cracking barbs with elegance. The PAN, meanwhile, seems determined to put on the same number as always, but with brighter lights and a new slogan. The public, that is, the citizens, watch from our seats wondering when the real show will begin, the one where substantial proposals are the protagonists and not clever insults or cosmetic relaunches. Meanwhile, we settle for laughing so as not to cry, hoping that one day political comedy will give way to the drama of effective governance. Or at least, that the scriptwriters improve their jokes.
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