Because discounts at tortilla shops are no longer enough
It seems that the National Institute for the Elderly, or INAPAM for the folks (and to save digital ink), had a revelation: it turns out that the happiness of our beloved grandparents does not only depend on a ten percent discount on animal crackers. In a burst of institutional creativity that left us all speechless, the agency has decided to expand its catalog of free benefits. Yes, free, that magic word that makes even the most skeptical person raise an eyebrow.
And no, this is not a new agreement to travel by subway without paying (although that would be revolutionary). The jewel in the crown, the new star benefit that promises to change the lives of Mexican seniors, is nothing more and nothing less than… (drum roll, please)… an online conversation. Applause! Because after a life of work, what an older adult really wants is to sign up for a webinar.
The event of the century: vices and anecdotes, but with speakers
The INAPAM, in its infinite wisdom, has announced with great fanfare – or with a mass email – that next Monday, September 29 and Tuesday, September 30, 2025, from 10:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m., the fascinating discussion titled “Alcoholism, smoking and drug dependence in older adults” will be held. One can almost imagine the Zoom room: a mosaic of experienced faces, some confusing the chat with the Google search bar, wondering if the speaker is the same one who sold them car insurance twenty years ago.
The purpose, they tell us with admirable seriousness, is to provide tools for prevention and reflection. Because, of course, at 70 years old what you need is for a recent graduate to explain to you the risks of smoking, something that you haven’t been able to read on any packet since 1985. Participation is free, what a surprise! Although with the small and predictable detail of limited quota. Because in this country, even solidarity has a capacity. Interested parties must register in advance using an online form, a procedure that, ironically, can be more stressful than the topic at hand.
To give an air of solemnity to the matter, INAPAM has recruited a dream team of experts and speakers whose resume is so long that it probably takes up more screen than the presentation slides. Among the illustrious participants are:
Lic. Santiago Marino Hinojosa Figueroa, psychologist at the Regional Center for the Study of the Elderly (CREAM). It sounds good, especially the “CREAM” part, which conjures up images of dairy desserts, always comforting.
Dr. Raúl Fernando Gutiérrez Herrera, head of the Department of Family Medicine at the UANL. A title that commands respect, ideal for silencing that family member who recommends home remedies in the group chat.
Licda. Yuruen Alejandra Ricárdez Rodríguez, coordinator of the medical area of the BUAP Retirement Home. Surely it has anecdotes that could fill a soap opera.
Mtra. Claudia Eunice Millán Arbezand Mtro. Lorenzo Antonio Salinas Santos, from UACAM, responsible for a module and a laboratory with names so specific that one wonders how many more people there are in that field.
Mtra. Alma Delia Díaz Juárez, deputy director of CONASAM Guidelines and Care Programs. Because an event of this magnitude would not be complete without someone whose title includes the word “Guidelines.”
And in case the conversation was not enough: more benefits for a great old age
For those who think that INAPAM is limited to organizing ted talks on addictions, the institution is quick to remind us of its vast menu of services and supports. Because, apparently, they also care about the social, cultural and work lives of older adults. What a detail.
Among the pearls they offer are the day residences and permanent hostels, which sound like those all-inclusive hotels, but with a blood pressure check included instead of cocktails. They also have cultural centers, where our elders can, supposedly, promote coexistence. One imagines dance classes where the risk of a hip fracture adds an exciting danger factor.
And the free legal advice could not be missing, perfect for clarifying those thorny issues such as inheritances and wills, where family discussions are guaranteed. The jewel is the productive linkage program, which basically consists of integrating grandparents back into the labor market. Because nothing says “enjoy your retirement” like reporting back to a 25-year-old.
And why is all this important? According to the World Health Organization (WHO), preventive activities like this are “fundamental.” Wow, who would have thought. It turns out that raising awareness about health risks in the elderly is important. INAPAM, in an act of astonishing clarity, seeks not only to give discounts, but also to open spaces for dialogue. A concept so revolutionary that it almost, almost, seems like they had thought of it before.
In short, while older adults register against the clock to secure their place in this historic conversation, one cannot help but think that, deep down, it is a laudable gesture. A bit bureaucratic, yes. A little out of touch with reality, perhaps. But at the end of the day, it’s better to talk about alcoholism on Zoom than not talk about anything at all. Although surely more than one would prefer the benefit to be a bottle of good wine to accompany the talk.
Do you know someone who might find this information useful – or curiously entertaining –? Don’t keep the note, share it on your social networks and help spread the word (and sarcasm). And if you’re intrigued by the surreality of government benefits, explore more related content on our site.
