Finally, peace in the Rock (or something similar)
Joy in the border queues! The European Union and the United Kingdom—those eternal lovers in post-divorce couples therapy—have achieved the impossible: an agreement on Gibraltar without anyone throwing away the tea. After years of discussions more tangled than the wiring of a pair of headphones in your pocket, it seems that Brussels and London have decided that, after all, it is better to let people pass without checking their passports as if they were smugglers of sweets.
A “historical” milestone (or how to sell the obvious as revolutionary)
Maroš Šefcovic, the EU Trade Commissioner, announced the pact with the enthusiasm of someone who discovers that water is wet: “A truly historic milestone!”. Of course, because nothing says “progress” like solving something that should never have been a problem. Meanwhile, the British government—which inherited this mess like someone inherits a broken piece of furniture—is rubbing its hands saying that this “solves the last big Brexit problem.” Latest? Well, until the next one comes along, that is.
And the epic touch of Spain could not be missed, whose Foreign Minister, José Albares, described the agreement as “historic”. Because in politics, everything is historical until it isn’t. The truth is that the pact will prevent the 34,000 inhabitants of Gibraltar – 96% of whom voted to stay in the EU – from having to show their passport every time they cross into Spain to buy bread. A relief, considering that half of the population does it daily. Imagine the chaos: queues longer than the list of broken Brexit promises.
What does the agreement imply? (Spoiler: less bureaucracy, more forced smiles)
According to the EU, the agreement will remove physical barriers and controls, meaning that, finally, the flow of people and goods will be as fluid as it should have been from the beginning. Of course, respecting the rules of the single market, because not everything was going to be freedom and joy. The official statement speaks of “shared prosperity” and “constructive relationships”, which in Christian means: “We are no longer going to trip each other up, but we will continue to keep an eye on each other.”.
The British Foreign Secretary, David Lammy, did not miss the opportunity to blame the previous government: “We inherited a disaster that endangered Gibraltar’s economy”. Come on, the usual: the classic “I fixed it, the other guy messed it up.” Meanwhile, the Chief Minister of Gibraltar, Fabian Picardo, celebrated the “legal certainty” that the agreement brings. In other words, they will finally know if they can continue selling their famous monkeys without being charged a tariff per animal.
Moral? Sometimes even the most bitter divorces end with “okay, see you at Christmas.” Of course, without forgetting who kept the dishes.
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