Measles is back on the rampage (and it doesn’t bring gifts)
It seems that measles, that disease that many believed was archived in the trunk of memories along with vinyl records and corded telephones, has decided to make a comeback worthy of a rock star. But instead of autographs, he hands out high fevers and skin rashes. How generous!
The Pan American Health Organization (PAHO) has just released a statement that sounds more like a zombie apocalypse alert than a health report: 10,139 confirmed cases and 18 deaths so far this year. Worst? The figure is 34 times higher than last year. In other words, measles reproduces faster than kitten memes.
The podium of misfortune
In this macabre contest where no one wants to win, the medalists are:
- Canada (4,548 cases): proving that not everything they export is friendly and polite.
- Mexico (3,911 cases): where measles competes with tacos for the title of “spiciest.”
- United States (1,356 cases): because even in epidemics, “American exceptionalism” must be maintained.
PAHO, with the patience of a tired grandmother, repeats for the umpteenth time the magic recipe: “Vaccinate your children, for the love of Pasteur”. But it appears that some countries interpreted “vaccination coverage” as “picnic tablecloth coverage.” 71% of those affected were not immunized, which shows that the anti-vaccine trend has more power than basic logic.
“Measles can be prevented with two doses of a safe vaccine,” says Daniel Salas of PAHO, in what could be the understatement of the year. It’s like saying “parachutes can prevent serious accidents when jumping out of a plane.”
Mennonite communities: involuntary epicenter
The virus is a tourist in the Mennonite communities of eight countries, demonstrating that even diseases have multicultural aspirations. The result? A traveling genotype that makes backpackers seem more sedentary than a koala with jetlag.
Mexico, in an attempt to contain the disaster, launched a massive vaccination campaign. But pay attention to detail: 93% of the cases are in Chihuahua. Yes, the same state that gave us the smallest dogs in the world now exports us measles in bulk. Irony hurts more than a 40 degree fever.
Moral? Vaccines work. Measles kills. And human stupidity remains the most contagious disease of all.
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