The Great Theater of the Absurd in Washington: A Closing That Nobody Wanted (But Everyone Enjoys Performing)
It seems that Washington D.C. has decided that the best way to govern is, precisely, not governing. What a revolutionary concept, right? As the shutdown of the United States federal government enters its third week of glory, a spectacle worthy of the best tragicomedy unfolds in the halls of power. And on center stage, Democrats, with a serenity that would make a Zen master pale, assure that President Donald Trump’s threats to fire thousands of public employees do not intimidate them in the least. Of course, why would they feel intimidated? After all, what is the livelihood of thousands of families compared to a battle of political egos?
Far from being cowed, our heroes in Congress seem more emboldened than ever. They returned to the capital from their districts, probably after hearing the complaints of their constituents, and with the determination of a child refusing to eat broccoli, they rejected it for the eighth time – eight! we’ve already lost count – the Republican bill to reopen the government. Because in the upside-down world of politics, stubbornness is synonymous with principles.
The Pearls of Political Wisdom: Phrases for Posterity
Senator Tim Kaine of Virginia, speaking as if he had just come down from Mount Sinai with the tablets of the law, declared: “What people are saying is that we have to stop the mass layoffs.” An impressive revelation, without a doubt. Who would have imagined that federal workers, those mythological beings with mortgages to pay, would be against losing their jobs. Kaine, with the impeccable logic of a Hollywood screenwriter, concluded: “And we’re not going to achieve that if we give in.” Translation: To save your jobs, we must first make sure the chaos continues. It makes sense, in an alternate reality.
Meanwhile, from the paradisiacal islands of Hawaii, Senator Brian Schatz enlightens us with his diagnosis: the layoffs are “a lot of grandstanding.” Fantastic! It is comforting to know that the possible economic ruin of thousands of people is, at its core, just a spectacle of bravado. He predicts, with the certainty of an astrologer, that the courts will eventually overturn this measure. In the meantime, those affected can pay their bills with judicial predictions and optimism.
But the prize for most exquisite cynicism goes to Senator Richard Blumenthal of Connecticut. With insight that cuts like a knife, he noted that the shutdown is just “an excuse for (Republicans) to do what they were already planning to do.” Oh! Who would have thought? A manufactured crisis that serves as a screen for pre-existing agendas. It’s almost as if politics were… politics.
To close with a flourish, Chuck Schumer of New York, the Democratic minority leader in the Senate, called the firings a “misguided attempt” to change votes. “Unwise” is a wonderful word. It suggests a touch of quaint madness, like a cartoon villain who has a ridiculously complicated plan to rob a bank. Perhaps he expected the terrified Democrats to immediately capitulate. What a lovely mistake to underestimate the ability of politicians to hold their own while the country burns around them.
In this three-ring circus – the White House, the Senate and the House of Representatives – everyone plays their role to perfection. The president threatens, Democrats shrug, and Republicans present the same proposal over and over again, hoping for a different ending. Albert Einstein had a name for it. Meanwhile, the federal workers, those anonymous extras in this play, wonder how they are going to pay the rent. But hey, at least we are witnessing a master class in political theater. The farce must continue.
What does the future hold for us? Will someone figure out the light switch to put an end to this feature? Or will we continue applauding through tears as paralysis becomes the new normal? Only time, and perhaps a few more motions, will tell. The only thing certain is that in Washington, the show never ends.
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