The prodigy of 5.6mm: Reality or mirage?
In a spectacle as predictable as a sunrise, but with much more pomp and circumstance, the Cupertino gurus have unveiled their latest masterpiece: the iPhone Air. Because, clearly, what the world desperately needed was an even thinner phone. With its scant 5.6mm thickness, one can’t help but wonder if in the end they will be making it with bubble wrap and hope. “The thinnest iPhone yet, with the power of a Pro,” they proclaimed, because apparently thinness and power are now synonymous, as are hunger and diet.
The heart of this lightweight engineering prodigy is the brand new A19 Pro chip, which has already been crowned the fastest in any smartphone. Of course, they say it, so it must be absolutely true and impartial, like a soccer game refereed by your grandmother. The presentation also served to welcome the second generation of Dynamic Caching and improvements in local AI so revolutionary that your current phone will probably start to feel inferior and ask you for a depression leave.
MacBook power, mortgage price
The juiciest statement, and the one with which they surely hope to justify the hole it will leave in your bank account, is that the processing power of this gadget “equivalent to that of a MacBook Pro“. Marvelous. Because I want nothing more than to have the power of a high-performance laptop on a 6.5-inch screen that, if carelessly, could fold like a folio. It’s every user’s dream: being able to edit a 4K video while the device slips through your fingers like soap in a bathtub.
In the photographic section, the star feature is the Dual Capture video recording, designed to immortalize your reactions in the most exciting moments. Imagine: recording your ecstatic face at a concert while, at the same time, the phone records the artist. Because your jaw-dropping reaction is obviously as valuable as the event itself. It’s such a necessary feature that you’re surprised how we’ve survived so far without it.
It promises up to 27 hours of video playback, which means you could watch the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy… extended… and still have enough battery to call for help because you can’t get off the couch. It will capture super high resolution images (24MP and 48MP) so you can count every pore of your skin with frightening clarity. Its Fusion camera system sounds like something out of a science fiction movie, although its 1x and 2x optical zoom is as innovative as that of the iPhone 16e. Wow, an overwhelming generational leap.
And so that the device is not only technologically advanced, but also aesthetically superior to your worldly possessions, it will be available in a range of colors that evoke “lightness“: sky blue, light gold, cloud white and space black. Because what better way to represent lightness than with space black, a color famous for its association with absolute nothingness and black holes that devour all matter? Coherence is conspicuous by its absence.
The final outlay: Because cheap is expensive… and expensive ruins you
We arrived at the moment everyone was waiting for with a mix of excitement and financial panic: the price. The general sale in Mexico will be enabled on 19 of this month, but the pre-sale will start on September 12 at 6 in the morning, central time. Get ready to get up early and queue virtually, because having the finest gadget on the market is worth all the sacrifices, including not paying the rent.
The starting prices are as ethereal as the colors they promote. The 256GB version is offered for the modest sum of $25,999. The 512GB one, for those who have no limits on their credit card, for $30,999. And for those who really think they need a terabyte of storage on their phone (perhaps to save all the selfies they’ll take with their new Dual Capture), the 1TB version will be available for $35,999. Is it a smartphone or a car hitch? The line continues to blur.
So now you know. Apple has done it again: it has created an object of desire that redefines the limits of thinness and, incidentally, those of your financial solvency. A device as powerful as it is fine, as advanced as it is expensive, and as desirable as it is probably fragile. Because, let’s face it, at that thickness, breathing hard near him could be considered an act of recklessness.
Convinced that your life will not be complete without this high-tech laminate? Don’t be left wondering. Share this gem of technological satire with your friends on social networks and discover more analysis of the most absurd (and brilliant) whims of the tech world in our gadgets section.




